Memories

I remember joining Nursery and being just like the other Kids, healthy and running around the photos suggest I was pasty even then, which alerts me to the fact that I was nutritionally deficient even way back then.  My research leads me to this conclusion; when my parents had my sister a good nine years before I was born they were eating nutrition the old ways like their parents before them, and it is evident that my sister has been as strong and healthy as an ox with the best immune system ever!! During the nine years that past the diets my parents ate were starting to turn to processed foods mainly due to money and circumstances they were working and the daily diet on both sides suffered immensely.  Enter me into the world 1979 early birth, in a incubator and off to a bad start.  My mother has said that she had no appetite when she was carrying me and only fancied cigs which back then was ok but she said she did give up whilst carrying me.  My brother was born 10 months later and lived in the hospitals due to Chromosome Imbalance and died 8 years to that day, after operation after operation.  The next time my mother became pregnant she suffered a miscarriage and had to have a hysterectomy.  Now upon my growing up my diet was atrocious, my early years I stopped eating and everyone was worried about me, they couldn't get me to eat nothing and the doctor said to my mother if I didn't start by a certain deadline they would take me in and place me on a feeding tube, drip.  No one to this day knows why this happened except I didn't want to eat, eating made me feel really ill.  That's when mum and dad introduced me to KFC it was the only thing they could get me to eat and here started my taste for chicken.  I would only eat Chicken nuggets, chicken pieces, bacon sarnies and roasts which consisted of meat stuffing. I ate no Veg or salad, and didn't eat chips until I was eight, as when my brother was dying I stayed at my parents best friends which seemed like forever but told it wasn't as long as I remember!! They introduced me to McDonalds and thats when I first ate potato in the form of french fries!! Now my mother had said she tried everything to get me to eat the veg but I was ghastly and just would not, and I feel the flavour was just to potent for me, as I have extraordinary taste buds.  Feed me something and I can quotes herbs and flavours immediately.

Now back to the Juniors still ok good fitness and still felt normal, but it was my last years here that suddenly I was spacing out and falling over a lot.  I stopped liking PE and didn't want to do it no more, felt like I could not control my legs and balance.  It was around this time I had a huge asthma attack and stuck on steroids and suddenly my little frame had an extra four stone shoved onto it.. From that moment on I never did a full term I was off sick left right and center, cold, flu, tonsillitis, German measles, measles, bug after bug same symptoms each time throat glands flu like and then stomach issues.  I remember I used to go home for lunch and would eat sandwich's and crisps but each time after I ate I was struck with the most horrendous pains in my tummy and bloating and for a little kid this was harsh.  My mother got into trouble with schools for the time I had of but I was genuinely ill.  The doctors just palmed me off as a hypochondriac attention seeker and my mother was pulling her hair out.

Secondary School well this was the same pattern, the school said I had lots of potential but I was never there.  I had fatigue happening and felt to tired to be in classes and do my home work but I did it anyway and would end up having 3 days of to recover this being the way I have coped all through this even when working I needed 3 days to recover and I never could understand it.

Then during all of this my mother was diagnosed with Breast cancer and needed a lot of help and looking after, and this was both very emotional to deal with and a lot of responsibility for me at that age I was 13 years old and this continued on and off at 16 I remember being told she would pass away withing 2-3 years.  She could not get up I was helping her when being sick through the chemo stages and help her eat and make food.  Now I hated tomatoes with a vengeance could not look or touch them, but the only food my mother could eat and stomach during these times were bacon and tomatoes sandwiches.  So I faced up to it and provided what she needed lol gagging and chopping but we got there together.

To this day mum still has cancer in her bones and the pattern of working being off sick continued up until Dec 09.  I had chronic constipation, IBS, glands swelling, heart palpitations, flu like symptoms.  I spent hours in the bathroom crying with pain and boy did I suffer with it.  I would wake up feeling hungover and not no why as I surely hadn't had the pleasure of the fun of a good night out wayhey and all that!! If I did go out drinking I would have a hangover for a week and all my joints in my arms and legs with be so sore and ache with pain that no one understood, it baffled me as I knew no one else who suffered like this when drinking alcohol. I always swelled people thought I was 6 months pregnant when it was at its worst and then the very next day I could have a flat tummy go figure??

So during 2008-2009 I suffered with tinnitus and a host of new nasties, which I just couldn't work out what was happening.  I started noticing that my sweat had become very cheese like (nice!! not) and very embarrassing and also I was passing wind constantly without my control this then lead to a huge social anxiety as I was so humiliated and upset it was making me an emotional wreck, now this all coincided with extra stress at the work place, with bullying from small minded individuals who were so bored and insecure in their own relationships, felt more powerful by choosing a different person whenever they liked to bully.  It just got to much I remember sitting their thinking maybe everyone one would be better off is I was dead!! I was horrified the moment after I had thought this as I love life, people etc etc and couldn't believe it had entered my head.  Ok I thought whoa I'm very low and this needs addressing I had a sabbatical for three months and counseling which has helped with tools and a new way of thinking I became so much more positive and I strive to learn and make a better future for myself.  A chance meeting with one of my mothers Nurses lead me to my doctors June 2010 to discuss my history which is in two huge file packs all written up!! and together we explored what this was and my diagnoses was done in July.  

I'm stubborn and determined, so on to the computer I went again researching all treatments and experiences I could find.  I brought the 50 CFS recoveries book and read it and there was one in there that rang massive alarm bells and I decided to look into sugar.  I found the CFS Forum and met the most amazing people who gave laughter and support and advice my way.  I owe them a lot!!! and was introduced to the Dr Myhill website and reading her book understanding the way the body worked and how it can break down really helped.  I had an allergy test done which showed intolerance to milk and Gluten and some other bits and the Stone-age diet from the Dr M's website seemed the best way forward along with supplements, pacing good food, cutting out wheat, gluten and dairy and sugar was the way forward.  I also stopped exercising as I had always been told exercise gives you energy and was so baffled that it was making me worse.  I was also really hung up on diets like weight watchers and tried so hard at it and as fast as some came of it went back on heavier argh!! so out the window with them and learning about Nutrition was my main goal and healing using what nature had provided us with.  I now eat all types of veg, even the dreaded tomatoes!!!  I love the quote from Hippocrates "let thy food be thy medicine and thy medicine be thy food" and really look into herbal remedies.  I am now studying Nutrition and hope to learn other related courses in due time, with a view to helping get this illness more knowledge and awareness which is key to the understanding of it.