So anyhoooo...I have left it a few days to blog, as I didn't want to churn out the same old same old. I had an eventful weekend off to northamptonshire to see my sister and my nephew, things are tough as my sister has separated from her husband just this Sunday gone. Its sad but if its getting heated then separating and not subjecting the boy to it is best. Sometimes relationships drift apart, people can become like ships in the night just passing by honking at each other as they pass through the rippling water. Even though someone may love the other person, that person may need more then they can give them emotionally, or the love just dies....its not any ones fault really if you start to dissect a relationship there is usually signs on both sides as to why the damage has been done and how long for. Sometimes a person needs to be alone to realise what mistakes they have continued making in life, and addressing the cycle and reversing the affects and learning who they are what scares them and to confront that fear and move forward. This is an area I have been in myself before, I took time out to remember who I was, who I wanted to be and how to make changes to get there also learning new things about me along the way - so yes I have experience and can have an opinion.
On Saturday we went sledding in the dome at Milton Keynes OMG!! its great for the kids and adults who can free themselves of there inhibitions...at first this was not me ...I started down the slope not moving much trying to push my self off when it catapulted me out of the round flat sledge, hence me not impressed!! then I whooshed of and fell out of it again...but the reason I'm actually promoting this rather then saying negative things is it was due to my fear that stopped me enjoying and relaxing into it..I was so rigid no wonder I slomped out twice lol everyone got a giggle anyways. At the bottom of the hill I stood for a while collecting myself while the others whizzed by me with joy and delight on their happy little faces, and lees big face hehehe!! I then decided who do I want to be a quitter scared of anything that I'm not in control off?? or give things a general chance and feel OK with the freedom of it all, its OK not to be in control all of the time and this appears to be an issue I have stumbled across with myself. Yes I got up that slope again and again and boy would my physio be proud of that GET session I gave myself, hard to believe a year ago no chance any of this happening unless some one dragged me up there, of let me use a ski lift! In fact last year I went down one in the real snow on a small slope but it was that I was at the top anyway and hubby had to drag me back up!! oh and I fell out side our flat in the snow and slid down involuntary on my ass!! but that's a whole other story now.
So yes we did chains and we down in twos and fours, we had lots of fun in the snow within the dome, it was great. We looked around the shops and restaurants and many other activities it had there, so yes I will go again and I do recommend it, maybe one day I will learn how to ski there hehehe!!
Sunday I went to a wedding fayre to hold a stall for our uncles business, it was great I was please by the way I was handling all this activity it was a long day but I held it together. In the evening we were treated to a Toby carvery, which I really do enjoy there veg I have tons of it with turkey and gammon always. This is where I let myself down though I had a small white wine and a Ice cream, hence my moods have be chaotic these last few days and its only today I realised why. So yes I'm not perfect but I still learning even now thankfully I have not had fatigue but have been sleepy by 9pm, so I am playing it by ear. Mainly my stress levels have gone up due to JSA, and trying to sell the home, 1) I hate being on JSA and truly hope it stops soon, going into that building is soul destroying, demeaning and gives you a complete sense of hopelessness I dread it each two weeks I have to sign on, so fingers crossed I am giving a job soon, a proper job. 2) my neighbour stitched us up and now it looks we could wait a while to sell and quite frankly I'm ready to move on now - I know I'm impatient I tried for ages to go with it but now I'm fed up and getting quite down about it!!
At least now I have been back to my normal routine and hopefully the moods will even out today, I can now say Lee has a new brilliant job which will help us and I hope that my time will follow and the flat will sell, so we can have that great house with prospects galore..OK this is me signing of today peeps have a good one x
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