Poop issues, tears and tissues

Guess who's back, back again QBC tell a friend guess whos back guess who's back nanananana, Yep the five day break was glorious apart from one nightmarish aspect.

POOP !!

Seriously I have no taboo talking to anyone out there right now about poop, but I just cant go when I'm away from HOME!!

So I follow a fab fruit and veg included diet I go completely fine at home, making me think wahey I have mastered my IBS side of ME go me ... Then as soon as I stay away from my trusty safe bathroom, I bung up quicker then a concrete mixer!! I had my diet to a T apart from the end of the break when I gave up and carbed out !! hell ya I did chips chips chips - as I was already suffering the toxins of my non movers, thought F*&% it!! See how normal I am, Told ya!! I had smoothies, good meat and veg meals with fruit snakes, water to drink, and still nada...so why then?? even when it was happening I knew it was my own mind stopping me poop.  It mean putting on 6lbs - my stomach grew so large we were all awaiting meltdown!!Booom!!

From an early age I have not been able to poop if people other then my close family were around the home, and also never ever outside of the home...although unless emergency situations proved that to be some what difficult!! The feeling that heaven forbid people actually knew what I was doing, could hear, or be laughing at me as ridiculous as that sounds..I don't like people knowing that I am doing it!!! I mean other people do not have this embarrassing hang up, I was in the shower block and it sounded like the titanic had sank, but others don't care! its a natural occurrence which helps purify the body and heal it, so why the hell can I not let lose!!

I have a plan anyway my mum in law has said when she buys her new caravan this year we shall have her lovely little caravan - yay my own toilet woohoo, I shall be fine but am thinking maybe some hypnosis might help with the fear of toileting out of my own safe spaces - I get that this is a bizarre topic to blog, but I do know a few in the same boat if this helps you realise that your not alone maybe we can overcome this silly ass phobia x and since I have been home no worries what so ever in that department.