Is it me or is this month simply flying by... I believe its because we shall be moving in the next 3-4 weeks but wowsers it will be here quicker then I could have hoped for.
The last few days have been mostly me. Lee has worked and only had Saturday evening and Sunday off, he was shattered bless him, but we still went to the BBQ at his parent Saturday evening. I'm getting good at keeping to my diet when out and away. Its quite lonely when he works days and evening, weekends, as expected but I do see that it keeps us so in love with each other as we miss each other dearly. I understand that If I was working it would take the pressure off from doing the displays although he would still do a couple if he wanted to. We have discussed that due to the effects doing voluntary office work, I had an anxiety panic attack which I had not had in such a long time, that this type of work is not for me anymore.
I took on a huge responsibility, as the business owner did not know how to do any of the office work, nor did he know how to do the VAT, Corporation tax and end of year employer forms...Well I had not had much experience of the latter either but was learning via my mum in law battling through it with me.
Mum in Law had run her own business, but the lack of knowledge by the owner meant this was going into a blind situation and scrabbling to keep it functioning. Although it was all completed the stress just hit and made me realise I was running a business in effect, just not partaking in the labouring part of it!!
I do wish to have my own business, but this was too soon and I did not know what other things were going to pop up and have to be dealt with, as it is a business in full flow!!
I hope to read up and learn how to go about starting my business and learning to grow with it and all the necessary legal requirements met, as it will be my responsibility that papers get filed and payments get made. If I do not make this my priority and make sure all aspect have been met, it is me that suffers and the business, however I was not ready to take on this responsibility for someone else.
Its easy for a person to say "I don't know", and shrug off the responsibility of life but where does that get you, you wont grow as a person, but be stuck in an ignorant world of everyone taking charge of your life instead of you dealing with the hard decisions, protecting yourself against lessons and failures that teach and make us as people. Its a childish attitude to have really, and does not show a strong character but a cowards way. Life is for the living, that includes the tough times, hard times, scary times and all the great brilliant if Carlsberg made it moments all together as a package. Picking and choosing your moments is a half life, and playing it safe means you never know yourself fully and what you are capable of actually achieving, who you could grow into.
I tested myself, realised I was a strong, inspiring individual who can be trendy, bit hippy, and very nice person to boot, yep I'm good with that and long may it continue.
I have got half way through my big assignment and am happy with the work achieved so far, I also love the extra work I put into this, my case studies, extra reading materials and watching documentaries and interviews of people with eating disorders or using diet for illness.
I have been gathering ideas for when I have qualified, and starting up my business, I am really excited and will be glad to get it up and running with Lees help. He believes I shall overtake him as the bread winner but we will see. I just hope to help me, others and provide for my family, I have simple requirements, and If I can help other family members both health wise and financially that will be rewarding to. Hope to start end of this year beginning of next depending how the course and I plod on together.
My fish died yesterday bless him poor Merlin hope he is resting in peace now x
No comments:
Post a Comment